15. Follow me to the Utah Giant Pumpkin Weigh-Off at Thanksgiving Point!

14. Just try to steal my pumpkin this year you rotten kids!

13. One on the scale is worth two in the patch.

12. The baloney stops when the tail gate drops.

11. A love of my life gained 40 lbs. yesterday. Keep going baby!

10. Hi neighbor! How’s your back and what are you doing Friday Sept 24th?

9. My wife said it’s either me or the pumpkins… every now and then I miss her.

8. My Dad won first place at the weigh off and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.

7. Old growers never die they just go to the big weigh-off in the sky.

6. Giant Pumpkins: This ain't no beauty contest, Missy.

5. Milk injecting, the biggest myth ever!

4. UGPG: The toughest bunch of growers west of the Mississippi.

3. Moving to a new house so you can have a bigger patch is so worth it.

2. I’ve got HPD – Hyperactive Patch Disorder, what’s your excuse.

1. Happiness is spending hundreds of dollars to win a $5 ribbon.